In a "winning-is-everything" society, how do we handle and define failure?
Failure is defined as a lack of success or the inability to meet an expectation.
The problem is that we often tie it to our sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and self-acceptance.
Failure can be useful. We can learn from it, gain new insights, and do better next time. The right kind of failures give us new information and teach us something that gets us closer to our goals.
Let’s consider a few strategies for moving through failure with resilience:
1. Observe other people’s failures.
In one of the studies, half of the participants got lessons from other people’s negative results in the Facing Failure game before playing it themselves—and learned more from those failures than they did from their own.
2. Get some distance.
If negative emotions are getting in the way of your understanding, try self-distancing techniques.
Think of your personal experience from the outside perspective of a neutral third party.
Ask, “Why did John fail?” instead of “Why did I fail?”
3. Share your own failure story.
People tend to hide their failures out of a sense of shame, but there are ways to turn failure into success by transforming it into a story of growth.
4. Recognize your successes.
Studies consistently find that experts can tolerate failure in their fields, partly because they have a history of accomplishment and a future predicated on commitment.
In a 2014 experiment, seventh-grade teachers paired constructive criticism with encouraging notes that reminded students of the ability and skill they’d already demonstrated in class, which led to better grades in the future.
5. Feel the disappointment
Try feeling your feelings over your defeats. There is a great deal of research suggesting that sadness evolved as a response to failure and loss and that it exists in order to encourage us to reflect on our experiences.
We are working and living in increasingly ambiguous and fast-changing systems. We all have to get more comfortable with making mistakes and learning to fail better. Learning to fail is a skill we can all practice.
Credit to http://greatergood.berkeley.edu
*This article was adapted from a Twitter thread by Supernaturals*
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